Back to the doctor’s office this morning. This time I arrive to find other women in the waiting room. None look pregnant. Most look anxious as do I.
It is another tough appointment, with the Doctor telling me about new test results that stipulate prior findings. I have few eggs or more technically a low ovarian reserve. Where did they all go? No one knows. I could have been born with fewer than average or in my normal annual depletion of eggs (yes this is normal, we lose a certain number each year) I am depleting more than average. Whatever the case, I just don’t have very many. The course of treatment that the doctor recommends I pursue has not changed. We will still use some drugs to boost egg production and then we will inseminate. What has changed is the likelihood of a more aggressive treatment sooner if we do not have success with the planned treatment.
Trying, trying, trying to stay positive and hopeful but feeling a bit saddened by the news. Wishing My Leading Man were closer so I could be at least comforted by him. Had to settle for speaking to him on the phone as I sat in my house, which felt especially large, especially empty and especially cold.